Here's a Curve Ball

When I was writting the rule book for this year, I was clear that I needed to take my car out of the formula as completely as possible if this was going to work. There would just be too many times when I'd be tempted to fudge if I left it as an option. And I'm sure that instinct was on the mark. The further I get into my car-free year, the stronger my motivation has become to stay with it, mainly because the benefits have been so great, but also as a matter of pride. I have so many probation officers watching my progress that I'd be busted in a heartbeat if I decided to cheat.

I did write in a couple exceptions to the rule. This is, after all, completely voluntary, and I didn't want it to stray toward dogatism. The exceptions are medical emergencies, or if someone from my wife's family dies, and I need to go to their funeral on the East Coast. I would suspend the rule for one of those situations.

But now something has come up that has me stumped, and more than a little bummed out. My doctor has ordered a colonoscopy, and they won't perform the procedure unless I have someone to drive me home. I begged and pleaded with them to let me take the bus, but they just won't do it in that case. It's not a medical emergency, but there are reasons why I do need to have this procedure done. The clinic is four buses and a two mile walk from home. I sure can't ride my bike. I'll be heavily sedated coming out of it. I have no choice, it turns out, but to accept a ride home if I'm going to do this.

It's a legitimate exception to the rule, but I'm finding it surprisingly hard to make peace with this unexpected twist in the road. I guess my pride really is wrapped up in it now, after not getting in a car for over four months. I don't want to do anything that might compromise my efforts.

So this will be a good exercise in non-attachment. Discipline and perseverance are essential to what I'm trying to do this year, and I think I have plenty of both. But resistance to things I can't control is something else, and I need to let go of the effort at that point. There is no need for this to hinder my larger intention, and I'm not worried that it will. So if I'm a little embarrassed or self-conscious to find myself in a car under these circumstances, it's my attitude I need to work on, not the circumstances that make this necessary. It's just what is needed in this moment, that's all. I'll be right back into the stream that I have chosen for this year when this is over. In fact, this is part of the stream. Maybe I can bring a little more sense of humor into the whole too-serious process.